The Moon's Memory
by AoiHyou
Summary: [Complete] Kurama's last moments as Shuuichi Minamino... Hiei's POV is up for all of you who threatened me to write it! Ratings are up because... Hiei swears. We all know that o_O. See warnings inside.
1. The Moon's Memory

Chapter One: The Moon's Memory  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just merely wish I did and write fics, fantasizing that I was the owner and they would follow my every command...  
Warning: Angst. Not exactly your happy fic. (I'm not writing humor! *Gasp*) If you want it to be, yaoi. Otherwise, just friendship. Enjoy!  
  
  
They tell me I have a fever.  
  
That's true, I guess. But they're hiding something from me. Or at least trying. But I can see it in their faces.. Why else would Botan be here? To comfort me? When she's supposed to be ferrying souls? Ah, they are so inexperienced at lying. Which is, I suppose, a good thing.   
  
Lying is an art. I know this, I was youko. I was a thief. I lived on lying, betraying. But they are too young, naive, to learn this lesson like I had. Not yet, and hopefully never.  
  
I am dying. I know that. I am no fool to be deceived by those barely a fraction of my age. The fever that they say is a "Side-effect of a cold" is just another thing proving it.   
  
My body is dying. They don't know why, they hide it from me, fearing that if I knew, I would set out to find out. After all, I am only in my twenty's.   
  
"What could be wrong with him?" They think.   
  
I know. I didn't take this human's body and live in it for years without noticing the effects. My youki is killing it. It is too strong for the delicate human body. So it is dying. Simple as that.  
  
If I told them, they'd probably tell me to go youko, leave this body. But I can't do that. Why do you think I turned down Yomi? Because I wanted to live this ningen life out. And if I can't do that, I will stretch it as long as possible.   
  
Kaasan... Gods, if she knew what I'd done... I killed her child's soul and now his body. If she knew that...   
  
Hn... It's almost funny. I, the great thief, Youko Kurama, dying for a ningen woman. A woman that is my "mother" but is an infant compared to my age.   
  
The greatest sacrifice.   
  
I know that if I don't abandon this body, mine will be lost with it. I know that. The second Shuuichi's ningen heart stops beating; Youko Kurama will be no more. They don't know that though. They think that everything will work our perfectly, that I will be reborn as youko and return to them.  
  
Ah, how it is to be young. So naive. To believe the world is "fair". Does that word even exist? Fair? Hah! Nothing could be more ridiculous.   
  
I wonder if they'll figure it out... That I really did die. I'm pretty sure Kuwabara will swear that I'm out there somewhere as Youko Kurama. Yukina will believe him; those two are so cute together...   
  
My fever is getting higher. This heart is wearing out, the quickness of the beats catching up to it. My palms are sweating...  
  
I feel like I'm having a flashback. I've already experienced this feeling. Except that this time, there is no body for me to steal. No human to overtake. Just death. Death and pain.   
  
I suppose it would be more honorable if I told Shiori... But I am afraid of her reaction. I face death with a calm face and yet break down by just the mere thought of her knowing. Knowing what I did to her child. Knowing that nobody will ever find out if "Shuuichi" was a girl or a boy, what "Shuuichi"s personality was like. That I did it and am the only one to blame... it sends chills up my spine.  
  
Regrets. Gods, I've always known my life was stained. The majority of my memories have blood or tears or betrayal. But now, in this dying ningen body, every voice returns to me. Ever death cry, every threat, every sob. It rings in my head, making me feel like it is what's causing my fever. Making me feel insane.  
  
My hands feel grimy. I feel as if, if I looked at them, they would be covered in blood. Blood that had built there over the centuries, blood that I found after a kill underneath my nails. The haunting amber, glimmering and fading to black. The blood between my fingers that I had to lick off if there was no water. Either that or smear it on my shirt.   
  
Plants are of beauty. Roses are of delicacy. The majority of ningen and youkai believe that. But that is why it is my favorite weapon. Because they are so utterly wrong... A rose's appearance is just a mask. The thorns are what it's hiding. It still makes me smirk, remembering when I first thought up the "Rose Whip". A weapon that proved that beauty could be deadly...   
  
Hm, my pulse is getting slower... Shiori has just gone to call the doctor. Not that they think there is any hope for me...   
  
Come back Kaasan... I want you to be here... Gods, my mind is drifting. Kaasan...   
  
What the hell was that? Either I am hallucinating, which is very possible, or I just saw a shadow... Hiei?!  
  
He's saying something... Damn, I wish I could see better... My vision is blurring, my head is pounding... It's like my damn heart is in my head, pulsing next to my ears...   
  
If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks sad... Is it just my vision, or is there concern...? Inari, I wish I could hear his voice. That voice that seems to pull me to shore, the deep rumbling like Makai thunder...  
  
"KURAMA!" His voice slips past the pounding and reaches me, snapping my vision back for a second. Shiori is back. She is gaping at Hiei, no doubt wondering who this mysterious black covered boy is, and how he got here... The others, all of them, are staring at Hiei, wondering why the emotionless koorime looks so scared. And like me, wondering why he is here...   
  
"Hiei...?" My voice is a whisper of the quietest winds. Kaasan's eyes turn to me, surprised I can even speak. She knows I am dying. The beating is decreasing... Silence is enveloping me... It reminds me of those white and black movies where everything fades into other scenes so naturally...   
  
"Kurama I---..." Silence. My time has come. I wonder... What did he want to tell me?  
  
  
  
End! I am so cruel. Doesn't it suck that I didn't even tell you what Hiei was going to say? (Oh, and if you couldn't figure it out... Um... I hope you did figure it out, but it's Kurama POV) I might make a sequel. Hiei's POV or something. Who knows! R&R Onegai. ^_^ (I know I am not good at this, I am used to humor fics... Blaaa) ANYWAYS! Review please! No flames! 


	2. Lost Words

"The Moon's Memory"  
  
Chapter Two: Lost Words   
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the YYH characters.  
  
Warning: Yaoi warnings. HxK. Don't like? Don't bother! Extreme angst. Death. WHAAA!!! R&R ^_^.  
  
Note: Some harsh language. Well, it's Hiei's POV, what did you expect?  
  
Fading. Crimson hair, red as blood, fades in my memory.   
  
How long has it been since I have seen you?   
  
Jade green, the shimmering emerald jewels, loose their sparkle.   
  
Where are you?  
  
Soft laughter leaves with the wind. Your velvety voice is straying from my ears...  
  
But the pain remains. Striking me in my very soul. The cold chilling sensation of loss echoes through me, bouncing off of my walls, trapped within my chilled heart. Love is consumed by this newfound hate... or maybe it was always there, waiting to be awakened.   
  
The gods let you live once, why not again? Why take you from me when I'd just discovered pleasure? What am I to believe, except that I am cursed? How do I know you aren't screaming for me in the depths of hell, though I doubt they would ever send you to hell.   
  
For a few hours, I had a sliver of hope. Hope that maybe you'd jumped back into Makai as Youko Kurama. But I have no such luck. Koenma told me Youko Kurama had just disappeared, not leaving even the faintest trace. Gone.  
  
Did you hear my last words?  
  
~*Flashback*~  
  
The stupid oaf sent me a mental message. Some bull shit about Kurama dying. Does Kuwabara really think I'm that stupid? Kurama die? In Ningenkai? Gods. What an idiot, Yuusuke must have taught him that joke...  
  
"HIEI-SAN!" Yukina's ki closed in on me, she runs towards me, clutching her chest, panting for breath. Amazing how different we can be even if we are twins. I would usually ignore anyone that was searching for me, but since it's Yukina...  
  
"Hn? What is it Yukina-chan?" More words than I usually speak say in a day.  
  
"Did you get Kazuma-kun's message?" She pants. I was about to roll my eyes at it when I realized it was Yukina who was speaking. Yukina, the one that never lied. A chill ran up my spine.  
  
"H..Hn?" Her expression looks like a shot down birds. Her eyes lower.   
  
"Kurama-kun---"   
  
For the first time ever, I forgot about Yukina. I was off before she finished her sentence.   
  
~*~  
  
Shit shit shit shit SHIT! Where the hell is he? Dammit! My mind panics like it's never done before.   
  
When ningen get hurt... HOSPITALS! But which one? My legs tremble beneath me, anxious for action, wanting to run to where the youko is. My mind spins, thinking of crazy situations and holding impossible wishes. Maybe Yukina was lying? No, she never lies...   
  
My mind keeps screaming and telling itself that it would be okay, that he would be fine, that it was all a joke.   
  
I want to rip the ward off of my Jagan, but Kurama wouldn't like that... Driving ningen insane... DAMMIT!  
  
I take a few deep breaths, forcing my body to calm down and pushing the adrenaline down. Think... how can you find him?   
  
KUWABARA! My mind scans for him and finds his reiki almost immediately. I lock onto it and let my legs go. Like I give a shit if a ningen sees me.  
  
~*~  
  
"WHERE IS KURAMA?!" My coherent mind flits and I find myself holding the nurse up by the scruff.   
  
"K..Kurama? Sir, please let go... please..." The woman whimpers, setting my mind ablaze even more. I feel as if the whole world's trying to keep him from me.  
  
"WHERE THE HELL IS---" Shuuichi. Yes, that was his ningen name, my mind concludes.  
  
I breath deeply again, calming myself so that the woman won't start sputtering and tell me where he is.  
  
"Where-is-Shuuichi-Minamino?" I say, gritting my teeth to keep control. The woman's eyes widen even more at the sound and nods quickly.  
  
"He's in room 345---"  
  
She fell with a yelp to the floor.  
  
~*~  
  
340-341-342-343... A woman bumps into me and I growl at her. Her eyes lock on mine and she glares back.   
  
Shiori?! I stand still for a moment, shocked to see Kurama's ningen mother. The calm, nice, loving woman that tamed Kurama's youko spirit... She glares at me with tear filled eyes and resumes running.   
  
I shake my head and resume walking. Yes.. I feel his youki. Damn! It's dropping... All hopes of it being a joke leave my mind. All that's left is panic and fear... Fear?   
  
Could it be fear? Am I afraid that he'll die? I stop despite my position and look down at myself. Yes, the actions I've been taking for the last hour after I found out about his condition would prove that...   
  
I fear his death.   
  
I don't want him to die.  
  
I need him.   
  
My legs stir once again, snapping me back to reality. I hear heels clacking against the floor and see Shiori running towards me again. A doctor trails behind her, a helpless look on his face. He thinks there is no hope for him. That he will...  
  
345. I run into the room, panting, surprised at how tired I am. Yuusuke stands up and stares at me.   
  
"You-you came?" He looks down at Kuwabara and they both stare at me. All of them do. But I ignore it.  
  
"KURAMA!" My voice surprises me. He's right there in front of me and I'm yelling as if he were miles away. As if my voice could catch him and keep him here with me.  
  
Shiori enters the room and gawks at me.   
  
"Who-" I ignore her.  
  
"KURAMA!!" Dammit, wake up! His eyes are almost closed, his body sweating from the intense heat he emits. His youki drops.  
  
"Hiei what are you---" Yuusuke reaches out to me, afraid of what I'll do, no doubt, because my body is shaking.   
  
A tear gem falls to the floor. He stops dead.   
  
"URUSEINNDAYO!"[1] I elude his grasp and dash to the bed.   
  
"KURAMA!" His eyes squint, as if he's trying to come back. His mouth parts slightly.  
  
"Hiei...?" His ki is almost gone. His voice a shadow of his usual velvety alto.  
  
Shiori holds onto her husband, shifting her eyes from me to Kurama. Yuusuke and the others stare at me, then at Kurama.   
  
I would usually leave then, wanting to escape their eyes. But I don't care... I clutch the air, causing my hand to tighten in an impossible grip, trying to control the shaking.  
  
Who cares if they're watching?   
  
His ki falters.  
  
He's dying...  
  
His eyes start to close.  
  
No... The others are still staring at me.  
  
Who cares?! I... I love him... I need him... Need him so much...  
  
His heart slows down and the room stays dead silent except for the occasional clinking of tear gems to the floor.   
  
My tear gems.  
  
"Kurama..." I reach out, wishing my grasp could keep him here.  
  
"Kurama I---..."  
  
His heart ceases to beat. The room falls silent as the shock stops my tears. All words are lost for a moment.  
  
"Ai Shiteru..."[2] I whisper, having a sinking feeling in my chest. He didn't hear me... Did he? The others gawk at me.  
  
Did he hear me?  
  
The question rings in my head.   
  
Did he hear me...?  
  
End "Lost Words"  
  
Wow, that was cruel. I made Hiei-sama cry... Rams head on iron board as she irons her hands like Dobby And I still killed Kurama... Sniffle  
  
Should I write another chapter? What do ya think? Should I just leave it depressing and sad? Grins  
  
R&R Onegai! ^_^ No flames!  
  
[1]- Something like "SHUT THE FUCK UP".  
  
[2]- I love you  
  
~All good things have an end... however heart wrenching they are...~  
  
Authors Note:  
  
There was a sequel to this story, but due to its (sucky) quality, it was taken down and deleted. I am considering redoing the sequel, but as a one shot. Short and sweet, nothing extra, nothing left out. I hope you like it if I ever get around to it ^.^  
  
~AoiHyou 


End file.
